As we approach Women’s Day, I want to share how women can be more confident and advocate for themselves. You know that I wish I could do it for you. But I can’t. You have to do it for yourself. And it’s simple really. And you can learn it from people like Andre Agassi, LeBron James, Pele, Charles de Gaule and Salvador Dali. Start talking to yourself in the third person.
“Come on Andre, get it together.”
“LeBron James has to do what’s best for LeBron James.”
They do it all the time. And studies show it works. It’s called illeism, and it is when you talk to yourself, or about yourself, in the third person. I’ve told you about this before–because it’s that important. If you want to be the best possible advocate for yourself and your ideas, you have to hire yourself to be your own best advocate.
And that means it makes sense to externalize yourself. “Heather is ready to speak to her boss.” “Alright, Heather. You’ve done the work and collected the evidence. You’re built your credibility. Now it is time to go in there and advocate.”
Studies show this works. It makes people feel more confident, both before and after the event they’re facing. It actually lights up different areas of the brain when you talk to yourself this way, and leads to less negative self talk. Illeism is a great way to hire yourself to be your own best advocate. And as we get ready to celebrate Women’s Day, this is one way women can be more confident and advocate for themselves.
One thing that may help is a talisman. It seems that if you have something to remind yourself that you’ve hired yourself, it may be easier to step into that persona. For me, at trials, it used to be a ponytail. When I put in my ponytail I was Heather Hansen, the trial attorney. She could object and overcome objections with ease. And he was confident, well spoken and always ready.
When you need your own talisman, I’m here to help. If you’ve listened to The Elegant Warrior podcast, or read my book, The Elegant Warrior, all you have to do is write a review for iTunes or Amazon. Send me a screen shot to heather@advocatetowincom, with your mailing address, and I will send you an Advocate bracelet.
It will help you step into your role as an advocate. You will hire yourself. And you will win.